First of all this is an excellent book that can help anyone of us improve the behavior in the organizational area..even in our daily life.This is the book i liked the most during this course,because everyone of us can find himself in some parts of the book.If looking at the most famous leaders in the world,surely we may say that they need to read this guide since most of them have destroyed their reputation because of not taking care of those advices.
We all hope to be better. We all try to be better. Then why is it that others don't see what we are trying to do and the positive changes we are bringing about in ourselves?
Goldsmith helps us identify what has been holding us back, and exactly what we need to do to overcome it. This book is for people who are serious about taking their careers to the next level. Looking again at the 20 `flaws' and having now read through the book, I probably have done all 20 in the past. I have a long way to go. Listening makes you a better person,that's the bottom line, and this book articulates strategies to help make it happen.
I made a summary of the flaws mentioned in the book and am sharing them with all the people I think may be interested in this field and I think that are interested to be better than average.
1.Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't, and when it's totally beside the point.
2.Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3.Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4.Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5.Starting with "No," "But, "or "However": The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right. You're wrong."
6.Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.
7.Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8.Negativity or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9.Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over the others.
10.Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11.Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12.Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13.Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14.Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15.Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16.Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17.Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18.Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19.Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20.An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are.
The book offers up a seven step plan for fixing bad behaviors, both individually and as a whole.
Feedback Whenever feedback is given to you in any form, never respond by arguing about it. Instead, write it down and consider it later when your immediate flared passions are calmer. Thank the person for offering their opinion, put the advice aside for a while, and then look at it later with a cool head, and you’ll often find something specific you can improve on. If you want to be proactive about feedback, don’t be afraid to ask for it, but never argue about it.
Apologizing If you realize that you have done something wrong, either very recently or in the past, apologize. Swallow a bit of pride, go up to the person, and just apologize for whatever it is. Likely, you’ll both feel better for it – you’ll lose at least some of the bad feeling and the other person will feel better too (almost always). I’ve found that apologies are almost always a very good thing, but they’re often very hard to do.
Telling the world, or advertising Now that you’ve apologized, what are you going to do to change? The next step is to define the changes you’re going to make and to let everyone know about them, especially the people you’ve apologized to. Apologies don’t mean anything if they’re not coupled with some effort to change.
Listening When someone speaks to you, listen to them. Don’t interrupt them, and try to fully understand what they’re saying before formulating a response. This is always a strong tactic to use when someone is trying to talk to you. If you can’t fully describe and articulate the message someone is trying to deliver to you, your response is guaranteed to be less accurate and thorough than it could be if you listened to the message and to the messenger.
Thanking Whenever someone does something beneficial for you, thank them. I’m personally a big advocate of the handwriten thank u note (I think in this modern era that it really seems special), but any form of thank you will do. Just be sure to take the time to thank everyone who contributes to your success, both directly and in public opportunities when given the chance.
Following up Once you’ve started to really work on these things and started eliminating the bad habits from your life, follow up on them. Wait a few months, then ask the person you’ve apologized to if things are still seeming okay and if you are doing well on your “advertised” plan of attack. Stay diligent yourself, and try to remind yourself often of your goals. Constant follow-up keeps you on task and on focus with anything in your life.
Practicing “feedforward” At this point, you’re making real progress on your negative habits. Now, step back and ask for some future suggestions on where you should go with these changes. Ask someone who you’ve had experience with in the past for two specific things that you can do in the future to help with the behavior(s) you’re working on, listen, thank them, then work on implementing them. Much as feedback talks about the past, “feedforward” talks about the future.
And to conclude "What Got You Here Won't Get You There",is very helpful to all of us especially if weare at an inflection point and open to considering making a change. It will help us identify potential areas of change. It will also help us manage other people, up and down, as we'll probably have more sympathy for other people's struggles as we identify your own.
